Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry And Horny .
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still
can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying
of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson From the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase Cost you $800.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought -
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno Peppers--what you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me :
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
